InQuest #26 · June 1997 · p.47

Just End It

Solution not available

Eugene T. Dudley vs. Dirk "The Destroyer" Rockney

You can't win.

You're going down. Once again you've taken over for Eugene T. Dudley, the sorriest Magic player in existence, and this time you really can't win. Dirk "The Destroyer" Rockney has been toying with Eugene all game long. He's got four Serra Angels, four Shivan Dragons, four Sengir Vampires and four Mahamoti Djinns in play, but he's held off on the attack just to grind salt into Eugene's wounds. Dirk finally decided to attack a couple of turns ago, but Eugene has managed to hold him off with three Fogs. Now Eugene is out of Fogs, and it's up to you to save a little face.

Help Eugene find a way to lose before Dirk's turn so Dirk regrets taunting Eugene for so long.

Keep in mind the following

You've got 18 life.
It's your main phase. You've already untapped and you've already drawn a card (the Electric Eel that's in your hand).
You have three cards left in your library. Eugene used his Soldevi Digger to put a Regrowth on the bottom of the library, and you know by elimination that the other two cards are Lightning Bolts.
To taunt Eugene further, Dirk just burned your graveyard with a Tormod's Crypt.