Queen for a Day
Eugene T. Dudley vs. Johnny "Big Bad" Wolf
You can't win.
Poor Eugene T. Dudley. The world's worst Magic player is in love again… But this time, it's not the lovely Lula Petunia that has grabbed his heart. No, the object of Eugene's affections is… his Sliver Queen. He's eaten with her, watched television with her — even bathed with her. But since he became obsessed, the one thing he hasn't managed to do is actually put her into play during a game.
He's been using a black/green reanimator deck with no success. Johnny "Big Bad" Wolf has repeatedly crushed his deck — and his spirit — with his "blow your house down" land destruction deck. But Eugene is desperate and — having ingested only half a donut and a dozen cans of Yoo-Hoo for lunch — has begun to hear the Queen calling out to him, begging him to free her, promising him untold pleasures if he succeeds. And so, with a cry of "I will cast and protect you, your royal highness of Sliverdom!" he has set about his goal.
Quickly, before he goes utterly mad, help Eugene get the Sliver Queen into play this turn.
Keep in mind the following
- It's the beginning of Eugene's main phase. He has 4 life left. Killing him would be a bad idea considering his frame of mind; he's likely to snap and run around the room, scattering Mogg Squads in his wake. It'd be messy. Make sure he survives the turn.
- Thanks to a Tormod's Crypt, Eugene's graveyard is totally empty, as is Johnny's.
- The reanimator half of Eugene's deck hasn't been very effective, so it looks like you're going to have to find a way to cast the Sliver Queen.
- It doesn't matter what Johnny has in play; he's already decided that Eugene is a stark raving lunatic he'd better not disturb…any further, anyway.
The board
Hover a card to enlarge it, or click through to Scryfall.
Land3 cards
Cards in play8 cards
Cards in hand6 cards
The answer ran a month later, in InQuest #41 (September 1998).